Whats been going on bear...

I have not wrote for awhile becuase i have been buzzing on life at the moment. Im about to finish a course, which only lasted for 12 weeks but it helped me break the cabin fever from last year. I also joined a gym, which is open 24hrs a day 7 days a week so i have been going. I also started get back into heavy training at home and i have actually lost nearly a stone in bodyfat while maintaing my muscle mass.

i have suprised myself by been so happy and back to my cheeky self. And i have actually teased the ladies on my course and around me, all in good fun. I think people around me enjoy my comapny but i can not be to sure but i feel as they do and thats all that matters really.

I still have to be careful walking and working out, sometimes the pain is hard on me but i try and not show it but sometimes my body just wont allow my mind to block it out. Sometimes its hard to stand up straight or for long periods but i force myself because i wont let the pain defeat me. It will not win, i will not break.

I have grown fond of someone around me but i am trying to stop myself from pushing it. Not only because they may feel that way but also because of other complications and also because i dont want to be distracted from what i want to achieve this year. (Hense the quote below).

i also think whats for you wont fly by you and it was someone that i loved many years ago that told me that and in a way i have to thank her for that. because when i am in doubt or i dont know what to do i always think of what she said to me. So i am trying to refocus and get back on track but bear is a slave to his heart and always will be.

So when i think of what i want to do i become very determined and can feel myself gritting my teeth and wishing time would hurry up so i can achieve what i want to the next day. But when i think of this person my heart sinks and i feel philosophical on the subject. But i know what i need to do and thats let them fly by me as no good will come from it and push towards my goals and my dreams.

Because right now my dreams are motivating me and they feel so right, everything im doing feels like its the right thing to do and i wonder why i didnt follow my passion and my dreams in the beginning, it took me to break to realise my dreams are my happiness.